My Breasfeeding Journey

Finally I understand why breastfeeding (bf) is a topic that unites all bf mums.

There are so much to share, so much to learn.

I bet every mum will have their own journey to share, so here is mine.

THE FIRST CONTACT

To be honest, I was so not ready for bf. In fact I never thought I need to prepare myself because ...hey...bf should be something natural isn't?. Although I did attend a last minute prenatal class and bf sharing session, I forget almost 90% of what I’d learn. The only thing I remembered was this thing call colostrum (that I kept pronouncing as colosseum). This thick sticky milk is specially formulated for my newborn, packed with all the goodness for his first few hours on earth. I called it, the condensed milk. LOL

I was fortunate to have bf friendly nurses to help us establish our first contact within the first few hours of delivery. I still remembered the moment when they placed Baby S on my body (while the doctor is getting my placenta out), he started to look for nen nen.

The feeling of being latch on for the first time made me feel so special. I knew I need to protect this little fella, who will be depending solely on me. I kind of forget that I had just gone through a 8 hours of labour when he first latch on. Looks like those hormone is doing their work.

Baby S was only 2.35 kg when he’s born. Looking at his bony fingers and toes, I reassured myself that I must ensure that he had enough to eat and grow. I spend the first night bf Baby S and was awake for almost 30 hours since labour pain.

THE ENGORGEMENT

Baby S was admitted to NICU due to jaundice. Since I couldn’t bf Baby S, I was left with a pair of super engorged boobies. My pairs got engorged so badly that it reached my collar bone.WTH

Every gentle touch felt like being stabbed by knife. I tried to avoid pumping because that will confuse my body. Little did I know that it will be so painful and uncomfortable. I was left with no choice but to pump it out.

I was starring at this cute little alien gadgets for a long long time, figuring out how the heck to assemble it. Gave up and Googled for a youtube video.

I never expect that I need to pump at such early stage; hence I did not prepare any storage bag/bottle. I felt so bad to have to do this. That’s all my hardwork and time for waking up every two hours in the middle of the night to pump!

BOTH NEWBIES ON BF

BF is not just about shoving the boobs to the baby. It is especially challenging when both of us are newbies.

First, I have to learn the correct way of carrying a newborn. They are tiny and fragile. I have to learn the skill of wrapping Baby S securely so that I can carry him with more confidence. I was so tensed that both my arms and shoulders are stiffed. Carrying a tiny Baby of merely 2kg felt like it is multiplied by tenth.

Then I have to make sure Baby S latch on correctly. That includes directing him to the nips and ensuring that his tiny little mouth covers the areola areas. I was a bit concern that Baby S did not latch correctly because his tiny little mouth is really tiny and my nips are like the size of peanuts! How the heck is he supposed to covers the areola areas?!?!

I was a little proud when Baby S suckle real hard and made some statement sound that he’s indeed latching. Other mums in the nursing room will give us the little smile and I will have to tell Baby S to slow down. LOL

My pairs, who are newbies too, are also 'learning'. They are still so sensitive and not used to intense abrasion. I will endure a little sting everytime Baby S latch. I thought it is normal but I was wrong.

CRACKED NIPS!

This is the last thing you want to happen during BF.

Being a new mother with a jaundice baby, all I knew is that I must keep on feeding this little fella so that he can be discharged earlier.

I endure the pain during latching which should not happen if we establish a correct latch. Well, as I was saying, we were newbies and I thought it is normal.

When I saw blood on Baby S lips, i was almost scared to death. OMG!!! Did Baby S just vomited blood (WTF)! Of course he didn’t because it was me who’s injured.

My nips cracked.

The pain is so unbearable that I can't even wear bra. It hurts so bad that I have to hold the shirt to avoid any contact with the cloth. The catch part is that I need to hide the nips too.

DIFFERENT SIZE!!!

Both of us are happy with how things go after 2 weeks of intense training.

I was so well trained that every single move is automated. Carry-Divert-Latch. Walla!

Well, not until I noticed that I have different size bobbies because I kept on feeding with one side!!

The difference is so obvious that I can’t ignore it anymore. It’s like B vs D cup kind of different! I wanted to cry every time i look at them. Kent tried to convince me that it is alright. No, it is not alright! This must be fixed!

I tried to feed Baby S with the other side but he just couldn’t latch on. There are so many possibilities. Is it me or Baby S? Is the flow too slow? Is it the way I carry him? Maybe he prefers the other side?

I tried and gave up numerous times.

I was so anxious and concern on the sizes that I seek for help.

BF SUPPORTS

They are many lactation consultants in the town with a fee.

I was reluctant to go to one because I doubt they can do anything to help me other than telling me that the way we latch on is correct or otherwise.

Finally I got help from Putrajaya Hospital.

I made an appointment with the nurse and told them my condition.

The center is supported by nurses and bf mothers. They are gentle, dedicated, friendly and most importantly, they are bf mothers who understand what I am going through.

They didn’t give me a definite answer on why we can’t latch on to one side because there are a lot of possibilities. One thing for sure is that Baby S knows how to latch.

I was not expecting an answer or solve-it-all remedy to my problem. What I didn’t expect was that after the visit, I felt so much motivated to continue trying. They shared their experience which is so similar to mine and found out their problems. They did not give me any pressure but only encouragement to keep on trying and not to give up so easily.

I was so grateful that I got the support from them.

Back home, I named my smaller boob the ‘training boob’ because Baby S will have to feed on it first before he gets his milk on this higher supply boob.

After many times of persistent trials and patient attempt, Baby S is finally latching on both sides!

OVERSUPPLY

I am glad that I am blessed with good supply. Baby S is growing well despite he’s only feeding on one side of my boob.

The plus point is that there is one less thing to stress about.

The minus point is that I need to latch and pump. Double the supply. Double the work. Double the wake up time.

First EBM

First 4oz

MILK SPA

I filled up the whole freezer in a month or two. On the third month, Baby S has already enjoyed his first milk spa

The smell is so ‘fishy’! OMG!

BURN FATS

One thing that I am really proud of (other than my natural delivery) is my post-delivery body

I can’t hold back but to show off the flat tummy only 3 weeks after delivery. Oppsies

I had been eating like Barbarian but yet…oh well (P.R.O.U.D)

BOOSTER!!

Like I was saying, I am blessed with supply. Part of if because of my food intake.

I had been eating REALLY A LOT. Even Kent was impressed on how much I can eat compared to him.

I have a list of Milk Booster that works wonder for me:-

•  Milo
• Soup
• Red Dates Water
• Rice
• Oats
• Good Morning V-Plus supplement drinks
• Broccoli
•  Fish (Especially fish soup)
• Soya Bean drinks
• Avocado
• Cheese

I do have some ‘enemies’ like cabbage, cauliflower, herbal tea. I avoided most white vegetable just in case. Reduce supply will increase my stress level. LOL

PUMP IN OFFICE

As I am a full time working mum, breast pump is my important companion. It am lucky that I get to use the extra room in my department for the important task. Of course, I also have some bf friendly superior who understand of my need. She’s been through the same process. LOL

Reading about other working mum who have not got the time and facilities required for pumping made me love my workplace more (Well, for the moment)

Working is working though. Due to tight working schedule, I do missed pumping session. The feeling of not emptying is, well, uncomfortable. Especially worst psychologically when Baby S is relying solely on me.

Missing pumping means lesser food for Baby S and worst still, it reduces the supply tremendously.

I am blessed that I can use the office fridge to store ebm so that i do not need to carry an ice box to work. Can't imagine if i have to look like going for camping everyday with it.

Of course I am a little bit shy when my colleagues saw me holding my ebm. This awkward feeling quickly goes away when I happily told them this is my Baby (only) food.

I try to be as 'light' as possible when comes to bringing my ebm gadgets. Here's what I have in my companion bag.
 

PUMP IN SURAU

Surau is an alternative place to pump securely, especially when I am outside of my office. We have surau almost everywhere and I tried Surau in hotel, office and even LRT station (WTF).

I was a little bit reluctant to use this facility because it is some sort of holy place. When I first entered one in the hotel, I was amuse to find that there's nothing there (really), other than a small cupboard to store Jubah & Carpet.

Being desperate, I quickly took a corner of the room, opposite the 'Kiblat' direction and get my job done. 

There was one time when a lady came in for prayer. No eye contact (cos I was backing the kiblat direction). We just continue to do whatever we need to do. LOL

Still feeling blessed as i have not met any awkward kepohchi in the Surau so far. Of course if possible, I will prefer to use a proper nursing room.